Uncategorized

#winning the wine game…

A week or so ago, I threw away my beloved wine bottle opener. It had seen better days, it was time; plus I had just opened a bottle and figured I’d buy another opener before I got through the new bottle.

…I severely underestimated myself… or overestimated myself…? Either way.

Last night, I found myself in my pajamas early, bottle of Barboursville Red in hand… without an opener.

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Panic immediately set in. Never mind the fact that I live two blocks from a grocery store where they sell both wine openers and screw-cap wine bottles (my personal favorite). I started digging through drawers, through bags, through shelves, through boxes and closets. Nothing.

I sat down in a chair for a self-pep-talk, “think… think, think, think! There has to be a way – there has to be!” All of a sudden, a video my cousin had posted on my Facebook wall popped into mind- link – simple enough, I had a shoe and I had a wall… I spent the next 5 minutes slamming said shoe against said wall without success.

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“Okay… okay, okay…think…”

Then it hit me — panic… desperation — but also… screw… screw driver… hammer… I lunged towards the tool box that my dad had given me (which hadn’t seen much use until now); SCREW! SCREWDRIVER! HAMMER! I put the bottle on the counter, stood over it basking in my own brilliance, screwed the screw into the cork, flipped the hammer around and started pulling. The screw popped right out… but the cork, ugh, the cork did not…

shit

The screw was too small, God bless it, the screw was too small.

Then delirium set in. I’m not ashamed of my actions, though I’m aware that I crossed over into to a place that I can never return from…

I went into my bedroom, removed a larger screw from a piece of furniture, dropped it into a pot of boiling water that I had on the stove intending to make noodles,  strained it, screwed that 4″ sucker into the cork, plopped down on the floor cross-legged with the bottle pinned between my bare feet, and used every ounce of strength I had to pull the screw AND CORK out with the backside of the hammer…

And hour after my original inkling for wine…

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Wine. Sweet victory. And neither had ever tasted so good.

For the record, this makes it official… I fully intend on ruling the world one day.

cheers-to-katherine

Have a great weekend!

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Quick thoughts

Adult compromises…

I am exhausted lately. I don’t know why – it’s not that I’m “going hard” or anything. Just tired. So. So. Tired.

I had two meetings last night one with the Massey Alliance (if you’re in Richmond, we’re planning a Giant Richmond Brunch to benefit the Massey Cancer Center, and it’s going to be awesome so mark your calendars!) and the other with a small group at my church– which I actually didn’t make it to (it was raining and I was going to be so late!).

I moseyed back into my apartment thinking I could go for a little relax and my brain flip-flopped between turning on a yoga video and walking around the corner to grab a drink. I was slumped in my grandpa’s old recliner going back and forth, back and forth when I decided on a compromise:

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and sat cross-legged on my yoga mat drinking wine.

It was a glorious evening and I was in bed by 9.

I’ve got to find some energy and motivation soon or it’s going to be another one of those summers.


Haha… but seriously.

Quick thoughts · Uncategorized

A Christmas Drinking Game

Friends! Merry Christmas! Is the wine flowing at your house yet?

Let me preface this post by saying that I love my extended family. I crazy-head-over-heels-love my beautiful wonderful sweet extended family.

However, here’s a fun (slightly painful) game I’ve come up with to survive holiday gatherings with 10+ aunts and uncles, 20+ cousins and spouses, 7 second cousins, and all the inlaws and family-friends in between…

Ready?

Every time someone says something that makes you wanna roll your eyes, drink… twice if it makes you wanna cry…

“So, you’re still single then?”

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“When are you going to wise up and stop paying rent in the city?”

“Have you ever thought about ChristianMingle?”

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“That’s an interesting nail color.”

“Sure seems like you go to a lot of happy hours.”

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“What happened to that nice guy we met last time?”

“You’re not getting any younger, you know.” 

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“Are you sure you want to eat that?”

“I heard so-and-so met someone on Match.com.”

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“It must be nice to not have any real responsibilities.”

“You know, when I was your age, I had already had three kids.”

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“It’s just because people are intimidated by you.”

“How much have you drank tonight!?”

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…you made me do it. Don’t judge me. You don’t know my life.

Happy drinking!

Quick thoughts

Please still love me…

Good morning, good morning, good morning! I’ve had a lot of coffee this morning – which isn’t super out of the norm but today is my last day of coffee for the next 10 days.

I’m trying to really commit myself to “being better.” I want to be better at everything. Better in my faith, better with my time, better in my career, in better health, a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister … the list goes on.

One of my coworkers is an Advocare-fanatic and she’s been trying to convince me to see what happens on the 10-day-cleanse. The $70 10-day-cleanse. So. I’ve invested the money and now I have to invest the time.

I don’t know how much you know about this bad-boy but it’s not going to be easy. Among other (less important things to me), you have to give up coffee and wine (alcohol)… for 10 whole days.

So… let’s find out what kind of person I really am…

…please still love me.