This week was not ideal.
Long story short, the company I love and work for lost the pitch to keep the business in my area.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt; that I didn’t take it really personally; that my eyes don’t hurt from crying/trying not to cry; that I don’t feel a little betrayed; that I’m not angry, disappointed, and a little scared.
Leading up to this pitch and Co-op vote, I found and lived my every day repeating this prayer:
God, I know I am impatient, so prone to worrying, to giving up, to losing hope. Help me to rest in Your promises today. In this season of waiting, renew my joy in this moment so that I do not miss Your presence in this place. Thank You for being with me and for never giving up on me. Thank You for always working for my good and for Your glory even when I can’t see. In Jesus’ name, Amen
It’s a good one. A really good one for me, as I have a bad habit of throwing myself into a worry or stress and neglecting to recognize the light and blessings all around it.
…“In this season, renew my joy in this moment that I do not miss Your presence in this place”…
My joy. His Presence. In this moment.
Here in this place. Here in this situation.
For my good. For His glory.
From here, I vow to focus on three things:
- God has a perfect plan for me; a beautiful plan far beyond my comprehension and likely so much bigger than anything I could ever dream up. I’ve been reminded of this on repeat over my last 28 years. I’ve cried over an embarrassing number of things that, looking back, were stepping stones on the way to something much more amazing. God has a plan. And I will trust Him to see it through in me. I will be open to His guidance and I will not doubt His direction for me.
- My people … (pause: thankful-crying) … my people are amazing. In response to my bad news yesterday (and really in response to my stress levels leading up to it), my people overwhelmed me with love, encouragement, support, “we‘ll figure it out”s, leads, comfort, prayers, and in one case, tulips and icecream. I’ve said it a lot that I have terrible luck – and it’s true that wild and sometimes unfortunately things are often happening to me – but having the people I do in my life; people I love and who love me (and so well), easily makes me a very very… very lucky girl. Luckiest in the world, really.
- Perspective. Hurricanes are crashing into islands; crushing homes and changing lives. People are being diagnosed with Cancers. Others are starving. Families are watching loved ones suffer. Women are losing children. Children are losing parents. …I lost a job/business account… How so very lucky and blessed I am that this is my “suffering.”
Thank You for always working for my good
and for Your glory even when I can’t see.
In Jesus’ name, Amen
What a year! It’s been another one of those tough but amazing years, one of those in-between years, the “I’m on my way” years. I spent some of it up, some of it down, and the majority of it hanging on for dear life, haha. I’ve been repeatedly and undeservingly scooped up and filled up by God’s grace, good friends, and amazing family.
I am thankful for the joys and the struggles of this last year and for everyone who contributed to both. Gettin’ me where I’m gettin’ to. ☺️ Happy 2016, sweet friends.
“Travel light in life. Take only what you need: loving family, good friends, simple pleasures, someone to love, someone to love you, enough to wear, enough to eat, and a little more than enough to drink… because thirst is a dangerous thing.”
I have about 8 posts sitting in my drafts box. Blogging is harder than I expected – there are some topics that seem to just pour out and others that I can’t seem to even remember words exist for.
Not too long ago, I wrote about how people had been unknowingly filling me up when I was feeling kind of low on fuel.
Well, as I’m sure you could guess after this post, and this post… I let myself get all empty and pathetic again. But again, my friends and family – some knowingly, some unknowingly – filled me right back up. I don’t deserve them; their dedication to me and my happiness, their patience with me when I’m being unreasonable, or their willingness to invest time and effort into putting me back together. But I love them more than words even exist for and I hope they know it through both my words and my actions.
Last time this happened, I posted some quotes from other people. I’ve always loved quotes; people’s different perspectives, feelings, and thoughts. I love it when they hit me like they’re my own.
So, in the name of returning love into the world, here are some of my recent favs (thank you Pinterest)…
The other day (before my pee story) I couldn’t think of what to write about and I texted my (amazing, too-good-to-be-true) family, “Hey, writer’s block… any stories come to mind for me to write about?” And the list started… “Falling off the boat?” – “Face-planting in the grocery store in front of those guys?” – “Your car accident?” – “Your other car accident?” – “Chasing that guy at the gas station?” – “Tracking the homeless dude?” -“Crying through movies at the gym?” – “Being an airline threat on the way home from Rome?” – “Barfing in front of the judge?” …haha, and that just barely even scratches the surface! I intend to tell all of these stories. Haha, I almost forgot how many I have. But today I’m feeling overwhelmingly like I owe a little love back to the world; having been to an oddly fitting church service yesterday and having spent a randomly awesome weekend with different groups of amazing people who (some even unknowingly) poured into me right when I needed a little filling up.
I have no authority to dish out “words of wisdom” as I spend most of my days hanging on for dear life (literally) but these little pieces of other people’s thoughts and lives have struck me over the last couple of weeks and I figured I’d just share them.