Quick thoughts

An update…

Oops, I let a lot of time slip by! It’s been a crazy-whirl-wind start to Spring.

With regard to this post

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And that’s really all there is to say about that.

I promise to be back this weekend with a good story! I owe you that!

 

 

 

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Life · Stories

Those firemen though…

It’s been two full years since I totaled Sally-Civic (Phew! Statute of limitations is up!). Two full years since a very sweet lady pulled over on the side of 95 and helped me out of my car. Two full years since the nicest state trooper I’ve ever met sat me in his squad car and talked me down from passing out while we waited for the ambulance. Two full years since five firemen sweetly knelt down around me and bandaged up my (later stitched-up) knee while very likely (but surely accidentally) looking up my dress. Two full years since I limped around on a date with one of those firemen who seemed dreamy and charming. And a little less than two full years since I went on a second date with said-fireman and learned that he was (definitely) not (though, I guess he had already looked up my dress and I should have known better).

Sally

At the risk of being dramatic, I might should have died that day – at least gotten a lot more hurt. I wrecked during a rush hour on interstate 95 in the far left lane and somehow drifted, briefly unconscious and surrounded by airbags and that awful airbag-smoke-smell, across three lanes where my car stopped on it’s own 50 yards down the road on the far right shoulder.  How I wasn’t hit as my car made it’s way across those lanes and so far down the highway can really only be attributed to God looking out for me.

The stories that followed that accident are mostly funny – knowing those firemen really did probably see up my dress as a sat on the guardrail hyperventilating (I actually told them I was going to faint – as you know, I don’t do well with blood. They all jumped up and freaked out thinking I meant I had hit my head or something. I had to calm them down and say it was just the blood issue… and they laughed at me) and going on those two dates with the one (who I’ve bumped into around town a few times since – once sleepily, makeup-less, in my pajamas, with my hair on top of my head as I evacuated my apartment building for a fire alarm at 3 o’clock in the morning).

But really, it reminded me, and continues to remind me, of our power to encourage, comfort, support, and affect one another. In the days following that accident, I was overwhelmed by love; all of the strangers who had been so sweet to me, one of my best friends – Alex (previously mentioned) leaving work and getting stuck in the traffic that I had caused to pick me up because I desperately did not want to ride in the ambulance, and everyone who checked on me and sent their love. I still think about all of that kindness regularly.

I’m obsessed with the power we have to impact each other’s lives, and incredibly blessed and thankful that people repeatedly use that power to positively affect me.

That’s all. 🙂

Quick thoughts · Thoughts

We’ll call this one hypothetical…

So, I’m sitting at my desk laughing out loud at the evil brilliance that daily sits in my head but never escapes the confines of my imagination.

We’ll call this entire thing hypothetical…

Let’s say, hypothetically, you had been dating someone. And because of the time spent together, you had logged his devices into your Pandora account… because you have the paid account and so you don’t have to listen to any commercials, and duh, that’s just a dating courtesy.

Let’s say, again hypothetically, that dating said-person didn’t end super well. Or rather, it just never really got the ending / reworking of the relationship that it deserved (deserves*)… which feels worse than “didn’t end super well” …or, you know, it would feel worse, if this wasn’t all hypothetical…

Ahem.

Let’s say that now, with a little hurt still sittin’ in your heart, when you log in to your Pandora account, occasionally there’s a new station added to your list. Let’s go so far as to say that even though it stings a little, you end up liking the stupid station. Which is just, ugh… but you like it, damnit… you like it.

You don’t want to be petty and change your password and c’mon, you’re gaining some good new stations. Plus, you know that you’ll be friends again before too long and this will all be kind of funny…

Let’s say though, that you haven’t really gotten to speak your mind on it all… that the topic has been avoided…

Hypothetically.

WHAT IF you were to change all the stations to ones whose titles would speak your mind for you…

It wouldn’t be about the songs themselves… but about what this person saw when they clicked back into the app… Your own little force-you-to-read-me letter…

Ha. Haha. Ha.

If you were to do that, which you wouldn’t because you’re an adult and you really do have faith that the friendship will come back around, but if you were… wouldn’t it be funny…

(If your patience for my post is running thin, scroll down through this list, it’s worth it, I promise.)

  • There’s always that F/Forget You, Cee Lo song… which is just a little too intense, but the idea of it being on the list… pretty brilliant.
  • Same with that I Hate Everything About You, Three Days Grace song, not really applicable — to this hypothetical situation — but again, pretty funny.
  • I Heard It Through the Grape Vine, Marvin Gay
  • Rumor Has It, Adele
  • Burn, Usher
  • Cold As You, Taylor Swift
  • Hell On The Heart, Eric Church
  • You Give Love a Bad Name, Bon Jovi
  • Like a Wrecking Ball, Eric Church
  • You Must Be Out Of Your Mind, Magnetic Fields
  • Best Days of Your Life, Kellie Pickler
  • I Hate Myself For Loving You, Joan Jett
  • Whiskey and You, Chris Stapleton
  • You’re So Vain, Carly Simon
  • Go Your Own Way, Fleetwood Mac
  • Highway to Hell, ACDC
  • What Goes Around Comes Around, Justin Timberlake
  • Here’s a Quarter – Call Someone Who Cares, Travis Tritt
  • Gives You Hell, American Rejects
  • You’ll Think of Me, Keith Urban
  • Me, Myself, and I, Beyonce
  • I Don’t Care Anymore, Phil Collins
  • Better Man, Pearl Jam
  • Do My Thang, Miley Cirus
  • Peaceful Easy Feelin, The Eagles
  • Don’t Think Twice It’s Alright, Bob Dylan
  • Irreplaceable, Beyonce
  • I Will Survive, Gloria Gaynor
  • Bye Bye Bye, The Backstreet Boys

Reading between the lines, one might get a little message like…

  • F/Forget YouI Hate Everything About You and you know what, I Heard It Through the Grape Vine that you’re seeing someone now and actually, Rumor Has It you were probably messin’ around anyways. But after everything we’ve been through? Ugh, Burn. I didn’t think someone could be as Cold As You. This has all been such Hell On The Heart and in turn, You Give Love a Bad Name. I feel like I got hit by, I don’t know, Like a Wrecking Ball but you know what? You Must Be Out Of Your Mind because those days with me were probably the Best Days of Your Life. As it turns out, you didn’t deserve them and for that, I Hate Myself For Loving You. Okay to be fair, I hate myself for loving Whiskey and You. But back to the point, You’re So Vain, I hope you just Go Your Own Way; maybe jump on the Highway to Hell. Remember that What Goes Around Comes Around but when it does Here’s a Quarter – Call Someone Who CaresI hope the next girl you date really Gives You Hell and I know that when she does, You’ll Think of Me but it’ll be too late because I’m looking out for Me, Myself, and I now and honestly I Don’t Care Anymore. I found me a Better Man and I’m just gunna Do My Thang from now on; that always gives me a Peaceful Easy Feelin. So really, Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright. I know I’m Irreplaceable and that I Will Survive so Bye bye bye.

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I’m just sayin’… that’d make for one hell of a “subtle” letter-style station list.

 

Quick thoughts · Uncategorized

You’ve only met girls.

Just a quick one because it’s Monday, and the first Monday of the year, and of the month (obviously) and when you’re in marketing, like I am, that means madness.

But yesterday I had one of my new favorite life moments.

I picked up these flowers at the grocery store, like I do sometimes and jumped in line (milk, wine, flowers). The man behind me checking out said, “Ha, buying those for yourself?” I whipped my head around and was probably looking at him like he had three heads (because one of the greatest relationships I have is with myself and I’ve worked hard for it) but before I opened my mouth to say something regrettable (“kick rocks,” “bite me,” “you’re wearing cargo shorts in December, you loser”), the little old lady behind him said “Ha, if you’ve never met a woman who knows she deserves flowers, you’ve only met girls.”

…pretty sure she’s my soul sister.

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Anyway, aren’t they pretty? They’re sparkly! I love sparkly!

Have a great Monday back in your offices!

Quick thoughts · Uncategorized

A Christmas Drinking Game

Friends! Merry Christmas! Is the wine flowing at your house yet?

Let me preface this post by saying that I love my extended family. I crazy-head-over-heels-love my beautiful wonderful sweet extended family.

However, here’s a fun (slightly painful) game I’ve come up with to survive holiday gatherings with 10+ aunts and uncles, 20+ cousins and spouses, 7 second cousins, and all the inlaws and family-friends in between…

Ready?

Every time someone says something that makes you wanna roll your eyes, drink… twice if it makes you wanna cry…

“So, you’re still single then?”

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“When are you going to wise up and stop paying rent in the city?”

“Have you ever thought about ChristianMingle?”

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“That’s an interesting nail color.”

“Sure seems like you go to a lot of happy hours.”

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“What happened to that nice guy we met last time?”

“You’re not getting any younger, you know.” 

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“Are you sure you want to eat that?”

“I heard so-and-so met someone on Match.com.”

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“It must be nice to not have any real responsibilities.”

“You know, when I was your age, I had already had three kids.”

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“It’s just because people are intimidated by you.”

“How much have you drank tonight!?”

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…you made me do it. Don’t judge me. You don’t know my life.

Happy drinking!

Life · Uncategorized

Another cheesy “Dear Future Husband” post…

Dear Future Husband,

Here’s a few things that you should know… if you’re going to be my one and only all my liiiife(just kidding).

Really though… I miss you. Is that strange? To miss someone you haven’t met yet? It probably is but I do. I wish I could explain it.

I don’t really know where to start in writing this to you – only because there are so many things I want to say, so many things that have happened, so many things that make me who I am, so many things I want to share with you. Really I want to be with you now. I want to hear your laugh (warning, I’m pretty hilarious). I want to feel at home simply because you’re around.

Right now, specifically, I want to be comforted by you.

What about that, is that strange? Haha, wanting to be comforted by your future person?

You should know that I write this to you a little heartbroken again -okay, like pathetic can’t eat, can’t sleep, sick-feeling as soon as I open my eyes,  “little” heartbroken. I’ll bounce back, of course, but dating is so hard, isn’t it? Do you hate it as much as I do? I hate it, hate it. I’ll never understand why it can’t be easier… more honest, more reliable, more genuine, more intentional, more selfless. I’d love that; I like you – you like me, let’s watch TV and bake cookies or something equally lame and sweet and be in complete fearless bliss.

I’ve “wasted” time (the future me who knows you will say, “it wasn’t a waste, I understand now!”) dating guys who haven’t been nice to me, who have led me on and let me down. I’ve dated guys who have made me question if I’ll ever find you, if you’ll ever find me, if you even exist at all.

I’ve done a pathetic and embarrassing amount of crying through it all (you’ll learn I’m a crier)… and agonizing and worrying and stressing and doubting… I’ve been impatient and I haven’t trusted God the way that I should. Honestly, I guess I haven’t trusted you the way that I should and for that, I’m sorry.

At the end of every “relationship”/dating disaster, I’ve begged God for you. “Where is he? Why do I have to wait so long? Why does my wait hurt so bad? Send him to me! Make this stop!”

At which point, I’m sure God laughs at me; knowing exactly who you are, and where you are, and what you’re doing, and at what point our life paths meet, and why they haven’t yet.

I know He’s working on you like He’s working on me. And if you’re anything like me… well, I just know He’s had His work cut out for Him with me…

I’ve given Him hell, kicking and screaming, to learn important lessons. Slowly but surely though, with a lot of backup from a lot of amazing people, I’m learning them. I imagine that by the time we meet, they’ll be a solid part of who I am and I guess they’ll be a part of the reason we work. And I get that.

I’m learning how to be more resilient. I’ve been kind of a wimp leading up to this point.

I’m learning not to take anything for granted.

I’m learning how to really appreciate other people; their time, love,  dedication, needs, and spirit.

I’m learning how fast time goes by, and to embrace the people and things in it before it’s too late.

I’m learning that family is what really lasts.

I’m learning that there are some things that you just have to let go of. And that that’s okay.

I’m learning how to put my self-worth in real things instead of tangible ones.

I’m learning not to put my happiness at a finish line.

I’m learning that I like a little space – but I like to have a little reassurance in it.

I’m learning that I’m a hand-holder. Sorry.

I’m learning how to be patient. Okay, honestly I don’t know if I’m actively learning this one or being forced to learn it but I’m learning it. Very reluctantly.

I know that there is value in my wait, in your wait.  I know that God has planned you for me and me for you and that He has us on specific, intentional paths that will one day join. I like to think that you wonder about me and that day like I do sometimes.

In these tough parts, when I’m craving your presence, I remember that you’re out there… doing your thing, becoming who you’re supposed to be, working your way towards me. I’m comforted by the idea that when I meet you, all the feelings I thought I had for others won’t even compare and that I’ll appreciate you even more for it… and that that whole, “everything happens for a reason” thing will prove itself true.

I hope that during your tough days, it crosses your mind that I pray for you. I pray that you’re happy. I pray that you’re healthy. I pray that you’re surrounded by good people. I pray that you’re enjoying your life. I pray that you’re proud of who you are. I pray that you’re strong and resilient. I pray that you pray. I pray that you know you’re not alone. I pray that you have faith and confidence in who I’ll be to you one day. And I pray that you can fix things… because I can’t fix anything and I’m always breaking stuff!

I don’t write any of this to nag you or rush you or worry you. I guess all I’m trying to say is that I’m excited to meet you. I can’t wait to tell you how amazing you are. I can’t wait to make dinner with you (because you know, I only learned how to cook in my last couple of years) and buy you Christmas gifts (I love Christmas) and fight with you (sorry, I’ve never really fought with anyone so it might as well be someone I know is going to stick around) and meet your family (oh my gosh, you’ll love my family, they’re the best)… I can’t wait to laugh with you, and cry with you, and learn with you, and grow with you… I can’t wait to finally know you and to turn to God and say, “Okay, okay, I get it! This is why I had to wait a while, I’m sorry I gave You such a terrible hard time. It was so worth it.” And I know it will be.

Yours,

L

(ps. I think it’s adorable when grooms cry. Just sayin.)